Bintan trip

Bintan. Went to Bintan over the weekend. Bintan was..BEAUTIFUL. Even more beautiful was the wide selection of hot babes and hunks. SOMEHOW..everyone was pretty and everyone was toned. btw..met CONSTANCE SONG! GOSH! shez pretty.

Beach at Bintan Lagoon

View from the swimming pool at Angsana Resort

Was there with Chew, my lil sis, han, and her 2 friends. Unfortunately han, I gotta confess that I had thought that your friends emit bad vibes. BUT..I swear, I do not think the same of them anymore. (Just goes to show my ability to size people up is just SOOOO weak. First impressions huh!) Anw, It was a hell lot of fun. Laying on the suntanning deck, dwelling in the cynical world of Marian Keyes, listening to more Maroon 5--- PARADISE.

Even did my first banana boat. It was fun, minus the capsizing. But..now my body aches. HELL YA! haaa. With that kind of sedentary lifestyle, I was surprised that I needed food, and even more so that I had body aches, so much so that im in a desperate need of some massage.

Bintan is such a touristy place. Every staff is just so smiley, I could just live there forever. Even the water sports guy was so cheerful (I guess everyone is cheerful when u r doing something you like. He had been working in water sports industry for 11 years! GOSH! u should have seen his abs!)

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Please stop reading if u r feeling emo. Below are just very very very negative stuffs that I just needed to get out of my system.

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Perhaps Bintan's life was too laid back, and I just had too much time on hand to think. Thinking is dangerous.

I started thinking about my relationship with my sister. Sometimes, I feel really bad that I am, and can be, so mean to her. I mean... I can be really nice to my friends (although they deny it at times), I can be so forgiving towards any of their flaws (notwithstanding the fact that I have flaws too), BUT, BUT BUT BUT, I just cant be as nice to my sister as I do to my friends. I would behave like a live wire, ready to burst into flames when she walks too slowly, takes her time to do things I ask her to do, sometimes, I can be so mean that just by standing there, she irritates the hell out of me. like..WTF! what is really the problem with me? Why the double standard?

What is even more troubling is the existence of sayings. Sayings which advocates the importance of family ties, sayings which suggests that you can't choose your siblings, many many sayings which really doesnt alleviate the situation, and instead, increase the guilt I get when I evaluate myself. I mean...(definitely not trying to justify my actions or thoughts)... different frequency means DIFFERENT frequency. RIGHT? I admit I had been mean to some people who hadn't really done anything to offend me, but hey..this is MY sister that I am writing about here. MY SISTER!

My sister wasn't the only thought on my mind. Stuff that had happened in hk was on my mind too. Stuffs that I had done. Sometimes, I am guilty that I am not guilty about what I had done in hk. Like... any nice human being would have felt guilty. Well, I know I am evil and mean to start off with anyways. ANW, I have exchange to thank to know that actually, some adjectives are associated with me. Adjectives e.g. mean, cynical and sarcarstic, could ACTUALLY be used to describe me. I used to think that if I had to use 50 adjectives to describe myself, those words wouldn't had turned up at all. and BTW, I am still thinking of what I can say to even out the scores with my dear lil canadian friend. CAN'T believe I am THAT competitive. Somehow, my life is all about competing, and what's worse is that I am not even competitive about work, studies or some serious topic. I am competitive when it comes to this kind of thing, as chewsy would have experienced first hand lots of time. I would compete to see who can piss each other off first, compete to see who can finish the drink first, compete to see who can spread the eyes the biggest, compete to see who can jump the highest, competing about CRAP!. anw... the point is, I am just feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about the wrongs I had committed.

Getting hauled into the office of the ica wasn't fun. I was kinda pissed off on the ferry trip back to Singapore. Could be the combined effects of my self worth and the fact that I start work in 1 day's time (and motion sickness too?). I just started chewing gum on the ferry, chewed the same stale gum through customs and..wheeee! got detained by the ica personnel, and thereby implicated my sis to get her bag checked too. THEN, the 2 of us had our passport confiscated (for like 2minutes) and had to follow the kind looking personnel into the office, and he started telling me that because I was chewing gum, they had instructions to confiscate my gum and maybe do something with my passport? but..from his face, it was APPARENT that he thought the regulation was a major joke. COME ON! gum!??! anw, I got my gum back, WITHOUT any whinning or pleading on my part.

after that, had to endure the trip from tanah merry ferry to jurong. and..FUCKING RAN INTO A PERVERT AT CLEMENTI! (people, u know my language. I don't use the f-word much (except for chew and lia, but its for a private joke) and fede knows my principles behind using the word) BUT!!! this warrant its use. like..WTF! this man..fucking stared at my sis when she was inspecting the board for the bus's arrival, and I could just sense bad vibes from him coz i was walking far behind my sis and saw him approaching my sis. With whatsoever left of my sisterly instinct, I pulled her away (in fact, had to walk around him) and that lil-innocent gal wasn't even aware of his existence. following which, I pulled her towards the area with more people. (PLEASE bear in mind this is clementi bus stop that I am referring to, the GOOD-OLD bus stop which is always crowded) And the bastard still followed us, and then..Stopped in front of us, propped himself against the pole and checked us out.. like WTF! it felt like he was undressing us with his eyes. NOT 1 soul, (come on, any1 with eyes could see he is a pervert. it was almost as if he had 'PERVERT' written all over his loathsome face!) came to our help. WHATEVER happened to saving the damsels in distressed. AND!!!! HE had the nerves to follow us around the bus stop despite the fact that I had given him a hard stare (with all the fury that I could gather) and..he fucking still had the guts to follow us. ONLY when I confronted him, did he briefly apologised, gave a super lame excuse of saying he mistook us for someone. SOMEONE? more like a hooker that is. FUCK! What was worse, was the fact that when I spoke aloud, no1, NO ONE, turned to look.Like..whatever happened to the innate curiosity in human? Anything could have happened if that lil sister of mine had been alone at the the bus stop. I would bet my last dime on the fact that no1 would have stepped forward to help. HOW OH HOW! how is she ever gonna survive in Shanghai alone for her internship.

Gosh..my life is just so fucked up at the moment.